[GameStop makes a zillion dollars by buying the game you paid $60 bucks for back from you for $8 and then reselling it for $40. Prove you're not gonna take it any more by... running a con? That's what my pal, film critic, Consumerist blogger and former game journo and SVGL-ally Phil Villarreal suggests you do in the following excerpt from his deadpan-sociopathic (and funny, of course) tome Secrets of a Stingy Scoundrel. SVGL does not condone, encourage or endorse criminal activities, so if you try this, don't tell me.
Experience with Internet People dictates that despite this preface, some of you are still going to read this and somehow end up thinking I wrote it because it is printed on my blog. SO LET ME YELL IN YR FACES THIS IS A BOOK EXCERPT, PHIL WROTE IT NOT ME, IT IS REPUBLISHED HERE WITH PERMISSION SO IF YOU LIKE IT GO BUY HIS BOOK AND IF YOU HATE IT GO YELL AT HIM.]
Video-game and DVD retailers stick it to you by refusing to accept opened disc packages for returns. Should you accidentally buy a copy of Pootie Tang, Kangaroo Jack, or Kung Pow! Enter the Fist and not realize the error of your ways until you’ve broken the seal, the policy leaves you with little recourse other than lugging it over to a used DVD shop, where you’ll quite possibly be put through the indignity of fingerprinting and a driver’s license check for a measly 50 cents in cash or a dollar in store credit. Sure, you could march the DVD back to the store and appeal to a manager, but ninety-nine times out of 100 you’ll only be wasting your breath. After all, it says right there on the receipt that the company doesn’t accept opened DVDs or software for returns. The manager can just tell you to read the receipt, making you look like an ass in front of everyone behind you in line.
Notice a few sentences ago, however, that I said “little recourse,” not “no recourse.” There’s a devious, deceptively obvious magic trick you can pull that will let you tiptoe around the policy and return your rancid DVD or game for the cash you so foolishly squandered, deflecting the supposedly hidebound policy back in the customer service desk’s defenses like a light saber would a laser gun blast. Employing this Force requires no browbeating, smooth talking, or voodoo sacrifices—just a little bit of moxie and a resolve to keep a straight face.
Now that I’ve backed into the juicy stuff for a couple hundred words, here are the goods: Tell the man behind your desk that your disc is “defective” and “doesn’t work,” which is the whole truth in the metaphorical sense in the case of, say, Kung Pow! because it’s a defectively conceived film and the humor just doesn’t work. Any reputable business will swap out your opened DVD for a fresh, unopened number directly off the rack.
At this point you may be shaking my book and screaming “So what? Now I’ve bought another copy of the same awful DVD. How does this help me in any way?”
Patience, my sinister-minded son. You’re only halfway home. True, you may have a copy of an awful DVD in one hand, but in your back pocket you’ll still have the receipt from the original purchase. This document combined with your new DVD equals cash. If you want to be sneaky and prudent about it, you can just come back the next day and make the return, or you can be a hard-ass and just go for it in the same transaction. There’s a decent chance you’ll have to do some arguing to get your way, but relax—so long as you retain your composure and refuse to give in, you’ll win because you’re standing not only on the moral high ground but the legally firm position. All you need to do is have the manager read the part on the receipt that likely says, “Unopened discs may be returned within seven days” and you make him look like an ass in front of everyone in line.
You’ll be an instant intergalactic hero. Once your opponent gingerly hands you the receipt that says the purchase price has been credited back to your account, feel free to shout the “ZEEEOOOW!” sound of the light saber in an act of glorious domination. The geeks in line behind you will understand where you’re coming from.
16 comments:
Heh, every time I have legitimately returned a DVD for being all scratched up and unplayable, the store had thought of this con and cut open the shrink wrap on the fresh copy before handing it to me. The folks behind the return desk at Target are smart cookies!
@Booger Patrol
I supose, in that case you could (not actually suggesting anything here) take your bought copy back to the shelf, swap it out for another copy of the same, then go straight to the service counter (staying away from the door alarms) and do your return like that.
Speaking as someone who used to work at retail, this is something of a dirty trick. Stores don't refuse to give full refunds on opened and non-defective merchandise because they want to be mean or pull some kind of scam, they do it because once they take that merch back, they can't turn around and sell it for the new price. They have to sell it as used, meaning that they're almost certainly taking a loss on that item.
(There are some places that will, if a DVD or game or whatever is still in good condition upon return, re-shrink-wrap it and try to resell it as new. This is a deceptive business practice and of shady leading standing itself, however.)
I'm not prepared to say that there's NO circumstance in which pulling the trick described above is acceptable, but I have a hard time justifying, "I screwed up and bought the wrong thing and didn't realize it until I'd already popped the shrink wrap," as one of them.
Not posting this to yell at you, just putting in my two cents on the matter, which given that you left the comments open, I assume you're still okay with people doing.
Lying is bad, mmkay? ;)
GameStop makes a zillion dollars by buying the game you paid $60 bucks for back from you for $8 and then reselling it for $40.
Wow, people do this? I mean, people beyond kids. Those are the only people I see selling games to GameStop. Well, kids and felons, since they probably can't get a credit card and thus an eBay account. I've bought some games the first week of release, then turned around and put them on eBay, and normally get 75 to 95 percent of the retail price.
This is a truly dirty trick. Congratulations, sir. You saved yourself $10 on Kung Fu Panda by lying to the store clerk and thereby defrauding them of $wholesale price.
@Steve G: I used to trade in at Gamestop because I value the 2 hours it takes to sell something on Ebay more than the $15 I'll earn from doing it. Eventually I switched to Gamefly instead.
Steve G: I have at least a handful of adult friends who do this, and still consider "a good deal, I mean I get a free game if I turn in 8 games!". It's one of the reasons I applaud Bioware so much for putting out a lot of DLC, because you can't return it for your money back.
Annnnd this is why I've made the switch to GameFly. I play too many games for anything else to make sense.
So I liked this tip, and wrote a thinger at Melodico yesterday after reading it. Several commenters both at our site and on Reddit agreed that it's fairly common practice among retailers to preemptively take the shrink-wrap off of replacement games/DVDs.
Which if true is a bummer, since it's a pretty clever work-around. My related question is: Can I return a game with "broken" or buggy gameplay by simply saying it's defective? Or more appropriately, should I be able to?
Unclear, and probably been asked before, but still - kind of uncharted territory, commerce-wise....
Hey, what happened to all the persona porn?
Lost me when you dissed Pootie Tang.
Fookin philistine.
@Steve G
I do it. Since I'm a full-time university student I can't afford a new game each month. So every game that's average in my opinion I hand in and get something that might be better in return.
I guess if you work it might be a sound plan to keep all shit games you have in your shelf, but since I'm not made of money I can at least get some value from the games I regret buying on release.
@ Erik and others - You really should look into eBaying stuff. Even pretty average games tend to sell for 50 to 80 percent of their sticker price at Gamestop, whereas the most Gamestop is going to give you is normally 50 percent.
Also, someone else mentioned Gamefly, which is the greatest thing ever to me. Unless it's a PC game, I pretty much buy all my stuff from them now, since you get 10 percent and $5 off most purchases after a couple months.
Most stores cut the wrapping when they give you a new one. I've tried this scam before and it's not likely to work.
Hmmm... to save money for Gamestop, or not to save?
@Erik
I'm in the same position as you... and I have a feeling a large percentage of gamers are as well. People seem to forget that generally, you're not born with a well paid full-time job.
Oh also, shameful mandatory plug of my "blog": http://singlepostgamesblog.wordpress.com/
baris_m_345@hotmail.com
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